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Moving On

I think of her with you holding you tight
She is the one who is kissing you goodnight
You may say its over, but still you haven’t parted
Like you promised since this has started
I can’t cope any longer without having you near
Only seeing you a few times a year
At first it was easy I have to confess
I thought I could handle being your second best
I’ve made a decision about me and you
Tell her its over or honey we’re through
I know you’ll be shocked and beg me to stay
But I’m worth more than this any day
Besides why would I want a liar and cheat
I’d rather stand on my own two feet
Forget what I said and go back to her
But try and give her the respect she deserves


My Warning

I was only sixteen when I first tried drugs
I rolled up some cannabis and took a few lugs
The smell was so sweet and it made me feel nice
But it never gave me a wonderful high
Instead I felt tired and I wanted to eat
Crisps, cakes and chocolate and lots of sweets
So I moved up another step on the scale
Speed kept me going, it never did fail
It gave me a lift and was easily found
But the feeling was bad when coming down
What next could I try – perhaps just one trip
I was sure it was safe and felt trendy and hip
The things that I saw when ‘out of my head’
Were so very scary so I moved on instead
I was always quite shy so someone gave me an E
Wow what a feeling, people loved me
This gave me a buzz I could never explain
Just think your best thoughts and times them again
I was always searching the very next fix
I kept them all separate – drugs do not mix
I thought I could stop whenever I cared
But I didn’t want to, I wasn’t scared
So further I went and next was some coke
It was very expensive, I was always broke
Money was tight but I could borrow a score
I needed my Charlie more and more
I said to myself heroin was always a no
But my friends were all doing it so I gave it a go
The first time I tried it I injected my arm
It was such a good feeling, could do me no harm
At twenty years old, I had tried all I could
I decided to stop, I knew that I should
But drugs were now with me, the feelings unreal
I had to continue so I’d beg, pawn and steal
I’m thirty right now and I have to confess
I’ve nothing to show, my life is a mess
I’ve been into rehab so many times
And inside of prison to pay for my crimes
So if you feel tempted to dabble one day
Think of this poem and to yourself say
To begin with I might feel happy and well
But do I want to end up feeling like hell
Cos that’s what happens, drugs mess with your head
You feel dirty, lethargic and may end up dead

Moving On

As I lay here all cold and bare
I know you are standing right over there
I wish I could ask you, please do not cry
It comes to us all, we all have to die

My life was fulfilled, I gave all that I had
I made you my wife and you made me a dad
I hated to leave you, all on your own
But I was given my wings and now I have flown

I am peaceful now and in no more pain
You have to start living again
I am by your side through the night and the day
Take strength from this and be on your way

I’ve left this word but we will reunite
Not yet but soon when the time is right
Until that time just carry on
Be happy in life, don’t feel it is wrong

Owed Nothing

You think the world owes you
You sit back and just take
People like you make me angry
Always on the bloody make

Weren’t you every taught to work
To give back just a bit
Or are you content with nothing
If so don’t moan you are skint

Most of us, we go to work
Our taxes are paid in full
When you say you struggle so
I’m sorry that’s just bull

You live on just as much as us
Our moneys always spent
But we don’t get the privilege
Of the Government paying our rent

You think we are lucky
Cos we don’t have to ask for more
But we work very hard for this
That’s what life is for

You argue that you sometimes do go to work
But your money’s cash in hand
You think this is brilliant
But it’s wrong – just understand

Us who work, we pay for you
To live your life for free
This to me isn’t right
It’s not how it should be

So get off your lazy backside
There’s work for everyone
I’m sick of the excuses
Something should be done

Fire

I watch the
Flicker of light
Begin to burn slow
But bright.
I hear the crackle of noise
It is your language
Your voice.
I smell the burning and
Watch the
Shadows turning
I want to reach
Out so much
Feel the heat of
Your touch
I want to be
As big a force
As you but I can’t
Of course
You can’t know how
You inspire this
Feeling in me to
Start fire

Guilt

I remember the way you looked at me on that bitter day
Your eyes were windows into your soul as you walked away
The leaves blew across the desolate, deserted moor
Pain, anger sadness all at once came like I’d never felt before
The sun hasn’t risen in all the time you’ve been gone
I don’t see rainbows or hear the birds sing their sweet song
Four seasons have come and gone bringing old memories back each time
They hurt more than ever yet I’ll never work out why
The special places we shared all seem hopelessly bleak
Until now returning to them always left me depressed and weak
I stand here now back on the moor remembering that day
I wish I could turn back the clock a year – I’d do it a different way
As you begged me to love you always, I’d said I couldn’t be what you dreamed
Lots of tears were shed but all I remember were our shouts and screams
You offered me everything, said I could have anything at all
But I was stupid, independent didn’t want to be at anyones beck and call
Now I’m lonely, filled with a guilt which will never go
What have I got left in my life? My jobs that all. Nothing else to show
They say you never know what you had til it’s gone. It’s ironic but true
Now I know more than anything all I ever wanted or needed was you
But you walked away a year ago vowing never to be hurt again
And you never were, you never again felt pain
You walked form my life, I’m angry at you screaming inside
You burdened me with a lifetime of guilt, I can’t bury this or hide
You may be free from it all now but it will always go round in my head
I can’t tell you I made a mistake that I was wrong – I can’t talk to the dead

Strangers

The boat docks on the shore
In this strange place I’ve landed
There are people everywhere
But I feel utterly stranded

The noise is deafening
As I watch the toing and froing
I don’t know where I should be
Or where I’ll end up going

A tired face looks at me
Soft skin and a kind smile
I pause to gather my nerves
And step round my luggage pile

Her eyes are very kind
As she stretches out her hand
I take it and feel better
But I don’t try to understand

This stranger is welcoming me
She will treat me as her own
Until the war is over
And then I can go on home

Fear

Sitting rigid in this chair
My knuckles turning white
I’m sick of all the people
Telling me I’ll be alright

My seatbelt is pulled so tight
As tight as it can go
My tummy pulled in so far
I don’t know how the blood will flow

The engines start to rumble
The noise is very loud
I’m doing really well
I should feel quite proud

I feel us start to move
Feel my ears go pop
I cannot do this
I want it all to stop

I watch out of the window
See the clouds go by
It makes me panic even more
Oh God I’m up so high

Nothing feels safe to me
Panic starts to set
My heart is beating far too fast
My brow is filled with sweat

I watch my party all relaxed
Wishing I could be that way
Instead of worrying constantly
For months before this holiday

The announcement comes out loud and clear
We are soon to arrive
I thank my lucky stars
That I’ve made it still alive

So now for two weeks in the sun
No more thoughts that I will die
A fortnight passes quickly though
Once more the time to fly

When I

When I look at you my heart hammers and my pulse races
When I think of you my insides tremble in all the right places
When I dream of you I do it awake to savour it all
When I look at you I steady myself incase I fall
When I think of you nothing has ever felt this good
When I dream of you your beside me as you always should
When I look at, think and dream of you, I fill up with glee
Everything about you makes you the perfect man for me

You Are to Me

Your sexy eyes make me shiver
When they look at me I quiver
Your strong arms make me groan
When they touch me I want to moan
Your softest lips make me weak
When they kiss me I cannot speak
Your perfect body makes me smile
Come and hold me for a little while

Perfection

Everything about you sets me alight, to look at you is a gorgeous sight
From the top of your head down to your toes, you were made perfect and how it shows
You’re sexy and strong but caring as well, no wonder for you I have so quickly fell
All day long I could kiss your lips that glisten, or be there for you to hold and listen. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, than together with you for eternity


Remorse

Locked inside a cell twenty four hours a day
‘Well he deserves it’ many people do say
Ten years have passed, very slow
But I still have a long way to go

Is it right that I’m still sitting here?
I can no longer fill anyone with fear
You may not believe me but it is true
But I guess it’s easier that way for you

You’d rather keep me off of the streets
With manacles fitted to my feet
The only fresh air I ever get
Is from bars ten feet above my head

How long will it take to prove my remorse
I’m quiet and calm, have never shown force
My crime has cost me so very much
I’ve forgotten how it feels to have a woman’s touch

One mistake in my life I made
And I really feel for this I’ve paid
So at another parole board I sit
And pray to God that this time it’s it

You’ll set me free and see I am safe
See that I now have faith
Look at the person I’ve nothing to hide
I don’t deserve any more time inside